Sometimes, we may all wish that nothing ever changed.  Especially if the impending change seems negative.  We humans have a tendency to cling to the “changeless”.  We forget to look past the instance of change towards the future good that it brings.  We focus only on the disruption that the change has brought to our life.

There have been many, many things written on change and how to accept it.  I’m not going to go into all of the different philosophies or advice on how to do this.  Rather, I’m going to share with you one simple story of change that happened in my life.

One day, from out of the blue, a cousin of mine contacted me through Facebook.  I hadn’t seen her or spoken to her in over 10 years.  In fact, I hadn’t seen or spoken to almost anyone in my extended family for over 10 years.  Lot’s of “dysfunction” in my family, but that’s another story.

I was very excited to hear from my cousin Cori though, so we started to keep in touch.  She filled me in on how her siblings were doing and I filled her in on mine.  We had all been closer when when we were young.  In fact, her brother Rob was only 2 months older than me.  He and I had been more like siblings than cousins at times.

A couple years after this initial contact I received an invitation to her wedding.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to arrange the time off to attend, but I promised to plan a visit.

A little over a year later I got a phone call.  Cori was in hospice with only a few days to live.  WHAT!???  She’s only in her early 30’s!  I haven’t seen anything on Facebook!  What are you talking about!?

I found out that only a few weeks after her wedding, she had been diagnosed with cancer.  I don’t know the details of how she battled with this emotionally, but what I do know is that I never saw her social media filled with negative things.  In fact, I clearly remembered a quote that she had posted a few months prior, which I had “liked”.

“If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.”

I hadn’t made it to her wedding.  I hadn’t made it up to visit.  I hadn’t kept in touch with her like I could have and should have.  I hadn’t paid close enough attention to what was happening.  But all of those “hadn’t s” were in the past.  I couldn’t change them.  But I could do something now.

I called my boss and told her I was taking some of my vacation time starting tomorrow.  I didn’t know how much and I told her I would keep her posted.  I was fully prepared to be told I didn’t have a job anymore, but my boss was very understanding.

I called Rob and told him I was coming.  Mind you, I hadn’t spoken to him yet either in over 10 years.  Nevertheless, he opened his home to me for my stay.

I went to the hospice everyday of my visit with Rob.  I met Cori’s husband and daughter for the first time while there.  I spent every evening of my visit catching up with Rob and getting to know his beautiful wife and two daughters.

In spite of the sadness I felt for Cori, her family and myself, I couldn’t help but be happy for this re-connection with my cousin Rob.  I said goodbye to Cori and promised Rob I’d keep in touch.

March 25, 2013 Cori passed away surrounded by her family.  To this day, her Facebook page is inundated with pictures of butterflies.  She chose to look at the positive side of change, in spite of cancer.  That was her gift to me as well.  Thank you Cori.  You reconnected me with family.